I’ve since come to the realisation that I am definitely a writer, despite what that nefarious little goblin scuttling about in my head occasionally likes to suggest. I mean the evidence is as clear as day. Never does a day go by where I’m not writing something. Even when I’m not putting together a story or essay, I’m pouring several thousand words into my personal journal. I checked the word count for my 2025 diary last night. The word count is astronomical, to say the least. It’s the size bleeding novel, for crying out loud! What’s more is I’ve got journals from the last six years, each one ranging between 150,000 and 250,000 words in length. If only the subject matter wasn’t so raw and personal, I’d have a literary compendium on my hands.

So yes, a writer I most certainly am, despite the frequent bouts of doubt which sometimes like to tease me.

The issue when it comes to my fiction work, it would seem, is a lack of routine. I don’t apply enough discipline toward the activity. My creative writing habits are inconsistent, which is a hurdle that continues to block my path. It’s a habit that has plagued me for much of my life, and is one I know I must break in order to succeed. At present, I’m all or nothing when it comes to my projects. I’m either booking time off work so I can bash out 15,000 words on some shiny new ideas I’ve dreamt up, or I’m refusing to open a particular word document for several days (under some circumstance, longer). It’s starting to feel as though there isn’t a consistent workflow. The tap is either on, or it’s off. What I’m missing is regular practice. To solve this problem, I need to make the process a standard part of my daily routine, no matter how big or small it may be.

If we go back to my journal for a moment, we can see tangible proof of just how effective daily habits can be. I mean producing a novel’s worth of words since January 1st 2025 is nothing to sniff at. What’s more is I’ve done that much without even thinking about it.

Why have I been able to do it with such ease? Perhaps because I’ve been journaling every day for the last six years, without fail. No matter where I am, or how busy life gets, I always make time to express my inner thoughts. Sometimes it’s only a few paragraphs; other times it’s thousands of words. What never differs, is the fact that it happens. It’s become as routine to me as eating breakfast or going to the gym.

Now if I could apply that same level of daily discipline to my creative writing, then I’d be well on my way to a consistent workflow. Who knows, if I’d spent the last 12 months sitting down each day before breakfast to hash out a few scenes or sentences, perhaps I’d be on my second or third draft of Synthetic Empires by this stage. The problem is, I haven’t been doing that. Instead, I’ve been coming and going. Some months are good, when the right mood strikes. Perhaps I get excited after chatting with an author or hearing a soundtrack that reminds me of my story’s world. During those periods, I’ll type until my fingers ache. Then there are the moments in my life where I’m feeling low or a little out of love with the craft. That’s when I’ll tend to turn my back on the craft, telling myself I’ll crack on with it when life becomes more chipper and cheerful.

Make no mistake, sometimes a break is necessary when it comes to writing novels, essays or short stories. It’s nice to step back and return to a project with fresh eyes, particularly when fatigue and burnout cameo. My problem is, at the moment, I’m taking breaks and forgetting about the task at hand for a little too long. I’ don’t want to keep doing that. I’m not having breaks because I’m tired, I’m having breaks because writing is a lot of effort, and I’ve a terrible habit of relying solely on my inner drive. Sometimes I need more than that. Sometimes I need to be persistent and soldier forth.

Writing this book will never be easy, but I do want the process of writing it to come as naturally to me as working on my journal does. Most days, I don’t even know that I’ve written in my diary. Even as of this morning, I cannot for the life of me recall when I opened the document on my phone and penned an entry. Except at some point, I definitely did. Over 1,200 words were added before I’d even left the house! Reading it back, it was quite a fun, eloquent piece too. What’s most bewildering to me is that my mind wrote it whilst on auto pilot. No conscious thought required.

Just imagine if I could write my novel with such ease. I don’t mean I wish to withdraw thought, creativity and graft from the exercise. I’d hate to think that I’m advocating to write like some sort of literary zombie, as cool as zombies may be in the context of fiction. Rest assured, I want every chapter of Synthetic Empires to be stuffed full of heart, meaning, story and thought. What I mean is, I want it to become so entrenched into my day-to-day habits that it becomes as bog standard to me as driving a car or scrambling some eggs. I don’t want it to be just this thing I have to psyche myself up to do. It has to become a fixed point on my to-do list.

Do I think I have what it takes to write this book? At this moment in time, absolutely. The fact I’m so far into this draft is proof enough that I’m capable. The journal writing, essays and other short stories further cement the fact that I have what it takes. My problem isn’t capability, it’s consistency. That, I believe, is my biggest weakness right now. That’s the thing that puts my story most at risk. 

The good news is, I can fix this. I’ve managed to drill physical exercise and journaling into my life. Once upon a time those things were just as alien and awkward for me to complete. Oh how I used to kick as scream as I dragged my backside down to the gym. Oh how I would moan each time I tried to figure out what to write after scribbling out the words “dear diary.” Today, those activities happen without so much as a second thought applied to them.

So, my pledge between now and my next post is this; dedicate 30 minutes a day to my novel. It doesn’t need to be 30 consecutive minutes. Nor does it need to be as word-dense as my diary entries. As long as I put some time aside to chisel away at this beast, I’m on my way to making it a second nature activity.

If I can just keep up the pledge for a couple of weeks, maybe then I’ll have made yet another breakthrough. It’ll be another mastered obstacle, fading into history along with the doubt and mind-games that once upon a time hindered this journey with just as much potency. If I can overcome those beasts, maybe I can overcome this one too.

I’m making progress with this book. I’ve just got to make sure I maintain momentum.